I’m a sucker for awards shows.

Oscar predictions:

• There will be a dress I love
• There will be an outfit that will have me scratching my head and wondering if the wrong dress went to the wrong person OR wtf were they thinking?
• I will have a thought/there will be a conversation about what would happen if an actress didn’t return her millions of dollars in rented bling
• I will be happy with most of the winners
• I will be shocked by at least one winner
• I will make snarky comments to myself throughout the show
• I will be annoyed that someone gets played off before he or she is done thanking everyone, and yell something like “let them talk!” in outrage
• At some point, I will pretend to play someone off the stage

I have a pretty good shot at this.