When I am walking down the street, to my car, into work, into a restaurant, wherever, I do not appreciate being honked at or yelled at. After years of this nonsense, it’s become pretty clear to me that when men do this to women, it’s much more about the guy, and usually has little to do with the woman who has unwittingly become the object of catcalls and the like.

She can be dressed in sweats or a suit, it really doesn’t matter. Make up, no make up, attractive, unattractive, whatever. Yes, tighter or more revealing clothes, increase the catcalling, whistling and honking, but really, being female and alone is the primary requirement for the unwanted street harassment. I even have trouble with men saying ‘hello,’ particularly when accompanied by a leering stare or a double take. Some women who may lack self respect actually find this flattering. I do not.

I am a friendly person, and I enjoy getting to know new people in the right setting, but when I am walking down the street, going from one place to another, my thoughts on work or getting home, I am not in the mood to make small talk with someone I don’t know, and whose intentions I don’t know. Especially when I’m walking to my car, and especially when I’m alone. A simple hello is tolerable at best, but please, leave me alone after that. 

The catcalls are always unwelcome.

Last Thursday, I was the object of a particularly bad example of street harassment. I was just leaving an event downtown, walking to my car, parked in a garage across the street. I was alone, but it was about 3pm and people were everywhere, so I wasn’t worried. The hotel across another street from the garage is under construction, and one of the workmen took it upon himself to start yelling “compliments” at me. I ignored them, but this guy was persistent. He continued his verbal diarrhea, making specific comments about my skirt and the way I walked. I continued to ignore him, but I got more uncomfortable. He just wouldn’t lay off. I finally got to the door to the garage, quickly stepped inside, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t sprint the short distance to my car, jump inside and lock the doors.

I probably wasn’t in any danger, but really, what was to stop this guy from following me? I knew he was watching me the whole time I was walking. More important, what was to stop me from feeling like he was going to follow me? That’s the real unfair part. That’s the reason that street harassment needs to end. I shouldn’t have to feel unsafe walking in my own city, on a busy street, in broad daylight, even if I am by myself.

As I said before, street harassers are all in it for themselves, the identity of the woman receiving the harassment doesn’t matter. Catcalling is a sport, and these men (and it is almost always men towards women) never learned to respect women, and more than likely have little respect for anyone, probably even themselves. It starts when they’re young. That’s when we have the chance to teach young boys and girls respect and self respect. If anyone cares to do so.

Until then, I’ll ignore them like I always do, but I won’t shut up about it.